


dan

by dizzy, waveydnp



Series: phimmy [4]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-01
Updated: 2019-04-01
Packaged: 2019-12-30 16:10:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,213
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18318743
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dizzy/pseuds/dizzy, https://archiveofourown.org/users/waveydnp/pseuds/waveydnp
Summary: Jimmy and Phil watch a video.





	dan

Phil’s sat on his foot on the sofa, his spine bent in a way that’ll no doubt be sore later. He’s doing some post productive-email-answering youtube watching when Jimmy comes home from work.

Phil doesn’t even look up from the screen of his laptop when he mumbles his hello, eyes still glued to the video that’s captured all of his attention.

“Maybe we _should_ get a dog,” Jimmy says, toeing off his trainers and walking over to flop down and lay his head against Phil’s shoulder. “At least then someone would be happy to see me.”

Phil’s annoyed that Jimmy’s talking over the video, but he’s not so far gone that he can’t recognize how unfair that is, so he pauses the video and looks up to give Jimmy a proper greeting, but it’s at that same moment that Jimmy gets a look at the face on the screen. 

“Woah, holy shit. Is that…?”

Phil nods, rewinding the video to the beginning so Jimmy can watch with him.

“I feel like it’s been ages,” Jimmy murmurs.

Phil nods. “It has.” Not that he’s been keeping track or anything but… Well, ok. Maybe he has. They have a large overlap in their fan bases, after all. Phil’s not sure why, but he likes to pretend it isn’t just because they’re both white post-emo british boys with cute accents and vaguely not straight vibes. 

Maybe not so vague for Phil anymore. He’s been working on loosening up on that lately. And apparently he’s not the only one, given the subject matter of this video.

He’d been so jarred when he’d opened youtube and seen those words below that face that his heart started racing. There’s a whole chasm of difference between their content and personalities, and at one time Phil even considered him the competition, but he has to admit it’s exciting to see that username in his subscription box again.

“He looks so… grown up.”

“Yeah,” Phil says. “I think it’s the hair.”

Jimmy clicks his tongue. “I think it’s the everything.”

Phil looks at him from the corner of his eye. There’s something in Jimmy’s voice that makes him prickle in a way he usually doesn’t.

“Well play it, Phil, fuck,” Jimmy says impatiently. “I’m curious. Look at that title.”

Phil hits play again. The voice that comes out of the laptop speakers is soft and loud at the same time, strong notes of that posh Southern accent tempered by something else - London, probably, Phil figures. That’s where they all ended up, London or Brighton. 

Phil might have been happy to stay in York with Jimmy forever, making videos and enjoying their familiar life. But Jimmy wanted more, and the radio wanted him, and now London is that familiar life Phil can’t imagine not having. 

They watch the entire video - only eight minutes, he’s apparently not playing the prime advert break game. When it’s over, Phil isn’t sure what to say. 

“Huh.” Jimmy makes a curious noise. “Dan Howell, welcome to the club. Should we send him a toaster?”

“Shut up.” Phil bumps his shoulder lazily against Jimmy’s. “Let me guess, you want to hand deliver it in person?” 

“I mean....” Jimmy lets the word draw out. “Come on, he’s fit, you can’t deny that.”

Phil looks back at the screen. There is something appealing about those big doe eyes shining with emotion, how chapped and bitten his lips are. “I don’t know if I think he’s fit, or if I just want to give him a hug and take him to my mum so she can feed him up.” 

“We have to talk about your instinct for adopting strays,” Jimmy says, then grabs the laptop from Phil and backs it up. “I want to watch it again.” 

“Should I give you some privacy?” 

Jimmy shoves him in the shoulder. “He’s a baby, Phil. I don’t go for jailbait.”

Phil rolls his eyes. “He’s like, at least mid twenties.”

“And I’m almost thirty.”

Phil gives him a look.

“Oh piss off, fine then. A few years ago I was almost thirty.”

“Just replay the video, Hill. Try to keep your boner in check.”

Jimmy presses the spacebar and the video restarts. “Let’s not pretend he isn’t like, exactly your type,” he says over the sound of “Hello, internet. Been awhile, eh?”

Phil ignores Jimmy’s teasing. He does actually very much want to watch the video again.

And he wasn’t being funny, he’s genuinely not sure what to feel when he watches this bloke spill his heart out to his camera. It’s hard for Phil to parse through the barrage of emotions he’s having.

The overarching one seems to be empathy. It’s weird to feel so connected to someone he doesn’t really know. They’ve crossed paths at various conventions and events over the years, but they’ve never had a real conversation. The revelation of this video doesn’t come as a shock to Phil by any means, as he’s sure it doesn’t to a huge chunk of what remains of Dan’s audience, but to see him speak it so plainly is playing with Phil’s heart in a way that’s a little overwhelming.

He wants to ask if Jimmy feels the same, but he reckons it’s different. Jimmy never got the kind of numbers he deserved. He’d made his video with little fanfare and next to no fallout. He hadn’t agonized over it the way Phil can imagine Dan did, and probably still is now that the video’s been uploaded.

Phil’s done a fair bit of agonizing of his own, but he’s yet to come to the conclusion that a video such as this would make his life better and not harder. He turns his head minutely so he can watch Jimmy’s face as he watches the screen, and he thinks it’s probably not just about Dan’s pretty eyes or the pleasing way his face is put together. He reckons Jimmy is feeling a lot too.

“I’m going to share it,” Phil says impulsively. “On twitter, maybe?” 

Jimmy looks surprised. “Really? That’s not your style.” 

He sounds more curious than anything. 

“It’s a big thing,” Phil says. “It’s just me supporting a- a coworker, really, isn’t it?” 

“Sure.” Jimmy doesn’t try to mask his dubiousness. “Are you going to message him privately, too?” 

Phil hadn’t actually considered that. “Maybe I could send him a message from the both of us.” 

“Slip him our number?” Jimmy winks. When Phil doesn’t laugh, Jimmy slings an arm around Phil’s shoulder and pulls him in closer. “This really has your brain a’whirl, don’t it?” 

“Doesn’t it yours?” 

Jimmy looks down at the screen again, expression going thoughtful. “Yeah, I reckon it does.” 

Phil snuggles into Jimmy’s touch, always finding it the most comforting feeling in the world. Things are shit and scary sometimes, and the world can be mean. He doesn’t want anyone - especially, for some reason, Dan Howell - to feel like he’s going through that alone. “I’ll do it, then. Help me think of something to say.” 

He feels a damp kiss to his temple. “You’re a fucking lovely person, did you know that?” Jimmy whispers with his lips still pressed to that spot. 

Phil’s not sure about that, but if Jimmy thinks so he’s going to take it.

**Author's Note:**

> reblog here on tumblr!


End file.
